My Something
by FateGirl
Summary: Someone once said that you can't go to the ravine without bringing something out. She brought something out. Something that would change her life. But first she had to make a decison. Sprouts, EmJay, Jemma. Emma's POV mostly.
1. In The Beginning

Disclamer: I do not own Degrassi: The Next Generation or any other Degrassi's for that matter.

Ok I write kinda short chapters (especially the first one!) and I changed some stuff in my story.

1) Rick never came back to Degrassi. I wanted this to happen without people thinking Emma only hooked up with Jay because of the shooting.  
2) Emma and Sean never went out. That way we don't have any best friend's ex-girlfriend thing because I hate that. Besides I like Sean with Ellie.  
3) Jay and Alex were broken up before the whole ravine thing happened. I don't like the idea of him cheating on her.  
4) Last but not least, this is VERY AU!

Enjoy!

She knew she shouldn't have gone to the ravine. She knew it was wrong. She knew it wasn't something the old version of her would do. Yet she went back to the ravine again. Went back to Jay. Went back to her bad self. She liked the bracelets. She liked people not thinking she was a prude princess. She liked being with Jay. It wasn't a crime. He had so many different sides. Everyone just saw him as just a guy who thought he had it hard and stole stuff for fun. He was so much more different than that. So that girl went back to the ravine. Someone once said that you can't go to the ravine without bringing something out. The first time she was there she got an STD. The second time was worse. Well maybe not worse. Depends on how you look at it. This is a true story. I know it is because I was involved. In fact if this was a movie of the week then I would be the star. My name is Emma Nelson. And this is my story. 


	2. Fire Escape

First of all thank you to all my reviewers! Thank-you for all the kind words! I'll be around to review your stories soon! Oh, and if I forgot anyway I am SOOOO sorry! I love you all!  
- Allie  
- britneyhr  
- caramelswirl11  
- fluffymello  
- Holden Hit Hollywood  
- justawritier  
- Ndependentelement  
- Puggal  
- samantha  
- ScaryChick  
- tribaltaisan

Now! On with the story and I'm sorry about the "Seven Nation Army" thing, I was listening to the White Strips on the radio.

-

I was fifteen years old when I first started hanging out in the ravine. Jay was like a escape for me. A fire escape is for people trapped on a flaming building. Jay is like my fire escape for being a good girl. What's funny though is that on some level I think I loved him even back when I was fifteen. Love. I was a teenager. What did I know about love? I think that's why we couldn't get together officially. I was afraid of getting hurt. Oh, and I guess Jay's reputation. How would it have looked if the schools resident bad boy hooked up with me, Emma, Little Miss Greenpeace?  
What was it that his ex Alex said? Something about my chest being flat? I've grown up now and no army can bring me down from the feeling I get when I'm with Jay, whether the army is seven nation or more. One thing I always made sure of when I had any kind of sex with Jay was that I was ALWAYS safe. My mom and best friend had already been there, done that. I'd been to the ravine many times. Manny knew. She found the bracelets in my room one day. Black. Blue. Green. Sex. Oral Sex. All reminders of the dirty things I did, now hidden away in a box somewhere. I came back from getting some food from the kitchen and she was sitting on my bed holding them. She looked up at me and I saw that she was crying.

.Flashback

Manny: I was looking for your make-up box because I needed some lip chap. Instead I opened the box. The box with your dirty bracelets in it. I thought this was over. I thought you stopped going down on Jay. But I guess you didn't. I guess you did even more. Even I know what black bracelets mean. You slept with him didn't you? You're better than this.

Emma: You may think I'm better than this but I'm not. Yes I slept with Jay but it was safe. Every time. Anyways weren't you better than sleeping with Craig while he was with Ash? Lets not fight. We can't change what we've done.

Mannny: But we can decide what we're going to do. I'll see you later Em.

.End Flashback.

I remember she put down my bracelets and left. It wasn't like a huge fight but we kind of subconsciously avoided each other for a few days. But what I did right after the fight was go to Jay. My fire escape from the world. But I think that's when my fire escape broke and I was stuck on the burning building.

-

Hi eveyone! I'm thinking of re-naming my story, so if you have any suggestions I'd love to hear them!

.Bri!.


	3. The Calendar Doesn't Lie

Disclamer: I do not and never have and never will own Degrassi. Also I didn't watch Degrassi Junior High so I don't know much about Spike's story so I had to make it up. Also thanks to my reviewers, you all rock! 

I remember it was one months later when I began to feel a little strange. I thought it was just lack of sleep from going out to the ravine at all hours of the night. Little did I know it was worse than that. I finally figured it out when I looked at my calendar. I was late. I might be pregnant. Just like my mom was when she was fourteen. I told myself that I would never get pregnant like this. I'm fifteen years old, I can't take care of a baby. My mom did and, well, look how I turned out. Doing dirty things down in the ravine with Jay. It's not my mom's fault though. It's completly mine. Even though I was always safe when I was with Jay. I guess they don't always work. What was the percentage from Friends? They only work 97 of the time. Great. I'm in the very special three percent. Now I have to make sure that I really am pregnant. Then I have to decide what to do. Should I keep the baby? Put it up for adoption? I already know that I can't abort it. I just couldn't do that. It would haunt me for the rest of my life. And I have to decide whether to tell Jay or not. Maybe I should just go away somewhere. Maybe I shouldn't tell Jay that it's his. Maybe I'll pretend I slept around when the only person I slept with and the only person I wanted to sleep with was Jay. Also how do I tell my mom? And Snake? And Manny? And the rest of my friends? Oh God what have I done?

Flashback

Emma: I need somebody to take me to the clinic.  
Spike: Are you sick? Do you have a fever?  
Emma: I just need to go to the health unit. Tomorrow.

End Flashback

Well I guess I'm going back to the clinic. I should probably go tell my parents. I venture upstairs. "Mom?" I call, "Where are you? Is anyone here?" "Kitchen!" I hear my mom call. I walk slowly into the kitchen. "Where's Dad?" I ask. "He has a meeting at the school today." My mom replied. "Can I talk to you then?" "Of course Emma, let's sit down. Do you want some herbel tea"  
I nod yes. It'll probably relax me so I won't be as tense when I tell her.  
My mom places a mug in front of me and sits down.  
"So what do you want to talk about Em"  
I look at her and think back to how her life has been. She had a daughter at fourteen and now that daughter could be having a baby at fifteen.  
"Mom? I think I'm pregnant. I'm late. I know it's possible that I could be pregnant so I need to go to the doctors to find out. Will you take me"  
My mom sat there for a minute trying to get her thoughts together so she could reply.  
"Emma, I got pregnant at fourteen and my mother supported me enough so I could get by and that's what I will do for you. I'll take you to the clinic right now. Just let me grab my purse"  
So I guess we are going to find out if I'm pregnant or not. Part of me hopes I'm not. But part of me hopes I am. How did I fall in love with a guy like Jay Hogart? I guess they just have a way of doing that to you. I'll never understand it.


	4. What's A Girl To Do?

Disclamer: I do not and never have and never will own Degrassi. Sorry for taking so long getting a new chapter up! Thanks to all my reviewers! 

So we're at the clinic. I'm so scared. What am I going to do? I can't do this! I'm not as strong as my mom. I can't handle this waiting. When do I get to see the doctor? When do I get to know? I'm freaking out right now! I can't breathe. I have to get some fresh air. I told my mom I was going outside and would be back in a few minutes and left. Standing outside I took deep breaths trying contol my tears.I finally got myself under control when who should roar by in their orange civic? Of course, my baby's daddy, Jason Hogart. He screeched to a stop, got out of his car, and walked over to her.

"What are you doin' here, Green Peace? I thought you were finished treatment! I thought you were better!"

"I am. I'm here for a different reason"

"What is it? Are you sick? Are you ok?" He asked frantically "I'm fine. Well sort of. I think we should sit down and talk about this

I led him to a bench just inside the door and we both sat down.

"Jay, this is gonna be hard for you to hear and it's even harder for me to say but I might be pregnant. And it's yours. I never slept with anyone else and it's your decison to be are a part of this childs life but I'd really like you to be. Now I have to go to my appointment, excuse me"

After saying all I had to say I started to walk away and go down the hall to the waiting room where my mom sat. Jay was sitting stunned on the bench but he stood up and called after me.

"Em, I want to be part of my childs life. If you'll let me. Just tell me what you want me to do"

I thought about it and decided that he should come to the appointment with me. After I told him that he was silent for a moment and then said that he would come with me. He moved towards me and was about to hug me when my mom came down the hallway and told me that the doctor was ready to do the test. Jay and I walked slowly down the hallway and into the doctor's office.


	5. Im Freaking Out!

Disclamer: I do not and never have and never will own Degrassi. Sorry for taking so long getting a new chapter up! Thanks everyone for answering my survey, it really motivated me! Also it's a long weekend so I figured I'd get a new chapter up. I did buy the first season of Degrassi Junior High so I have a better idea of what Spike was like. Oh, and I tried a new format for this chapter to see how it looks! I wanted it tobe like in the book "What My Mother Doesn't Know." 

Now we're in the actual office.  
They did all the tests, now we're just sitting here waiting.  
Waiting for the answers.  
I can't stand it!  
What is taking so long?  
I wish I had my journal.  
I need to write about how I feel.  
How do I feel?  
How do I feel about Jay?  
About my child?  
Our child.  
Jay and mine.  
What am I going to do?  
Actually what are WE going to do?  
He says he wants to be involved with the baby.  
How involved?  
What if I give it up for adoption?  
How is he so calm with this?  
He is just sitting in the corner!  
I hate him.  
No I don't.  
I hate that he's so calm.  
WHY ISN'T HE FREAKED OUT?  
Wow, I'm freakin' out.  
I wonder if he wants to be with me.  
No, that's probably not what he meant.  
He said he wanted to be involved with our CHILD'S life.  
Not mine.  
The baby's life.  
But, the baby is connected to me.  
It's living inside of me.  
Maybe he meant that he wanted to be a family.  
All three of us.  
That's crazy!  
Where would we live?  
Not everyone's love life is as prefect as Sean and Ellie's.  
Look at my mom and dad.  
My mom wouldn't let my dad see me so he took acid, jumped off a bridge, ect.  
But maybe that was for the best.  
Now my mom has Snake and he is more of a dad to me than Shane had ever been. Whoa, I'm getting ahead of myself.  
What if I'm not pregnant?  
What if I'm over reacting over nothing?  
Is that the door opening?  
The doctor is coming in.  
What is he going to tell me?  
Am I pregnant?  
Am I not?  
Is it something else?  
The doctor's voice is so soothing.  
I'm not really listening to what he is saying, "something, something, Emma?"  
I look at him and ask him to repeat what he just said.  
Oh, my god.  
It's true.  
It's postitive.  
I'm pregnant.  
What am I going to do?


	6. Help Me

Disclamer: I do not own Degrassi: The Next Generation or any other Degrassi's for that matter. Thank you to my reviewers! Emma and Ellie are friends in this story because I think they could be friends if they both didn't go out with Sean. It's hard being friends with your boyfriend's ex. 

In the car on the way home we were silent. We just drove. Jack was sleeping in the backseat and I was staring out the window, thinking. Is Jay really ok with this? I can't even grasp what is going on. I need to talk to him. I clear my throat and my mom looks at me. "I need to see Jay. I walked out of the clinic and didn't get a chance to talk to him.We have to discuss what to do with our child. He says he wants to be there for me and our son or daughter but I need to find out how involved. I need to know if he wants to be with me. I need to get to know him. I need to know what he wants me to do." By the end of my rant tears were streaming down my face. I got a tissue from a box that we always keep in our car and said "Please, take me to his place." My mom nodded her head yes and asked me if I knew how to get to his place. I flipped open my cell phone and called Ellie and Sean's number. Ellie answered and said "Hello?" I told her it was me, Emma, and asked for directions to Jay's house. She gave my directions and after making me promised to fill her in on what was happening we both hung up. I gave my mom directions as we drove and we were soon there. I could see Jay's orange civic parked outside the little house. "I had no idea Jay had a house!" I mused outloud, "I thought he lived in an apartment!" I told my mom that Jay would drive me home later and we would talk to Snake and talk about what Jay and I decided together. She drove off and I looked up at the house. I went up to the door and rang the doorbell. Jay answered the door and I just broke down. Tears started to pour down my cheeks again and Jay wordlessly wrapped his arms around me. After I calmed down a little he invited me inside and we sat down on his couch. "What are we going to do Jay?" He sighed and replied that he didn't know.  
"I was thinking I might put the baby up for adoption but what if it's parents are bad people, Jay?" He looked into my eyes and said "Hey, Em, I promise I'll be there supporting you in whatever you want to do. The first thing we should do is look at our options." "Ok, so their is three options, adoption, abortion and keeping the baby. I don't believe in abortion so I will not do that, so now we are down to two options." I said. "Do you want to give this child up, Em?" I looked down at my stomach and said "No. No I don't. I want to raise this child and watch my son or daughter grow up." Jay looked at me for a few minutes and said "I want you to keep this baby. I want to see our child grow up too." "So we're agreed Jay? We're keeping the baby." "Yes, now come on, I'll buy you a drink at The Dot and we'll decide how to tell people." So we set off and arrived at The Dot in five minutes. We were sitting in a booth, I was drinking water and Jay drinking a coffee, when Sean and Ellie showed up and demanded to know what was going on. I took a deep breathe and lowered my voice. "I'm pregnant. And it's Jay's." At that moment I heard a gasp from behind me. I saw Hazel Aden, her best friend Paige, Paige's boyfriend Spinner and Hazel's boyfriend Jimmy. "You're pregnant?" Hazel whispered. " And Jay's?" Paige added. I saw Spinner nudge Jimmy and heard him whisper "So, Jay got Greenpeace, hey?" I got up and walked out of The Dot with Jay, Ellie and Sean walking behind me. I knew Paige would already be spreading the news so I need to go tell my dad. I had to tell him myself. Can you imagine what would happen if he heard it from Paige, Hazel, Jimmy, Spinner or anyone else that Paige would tell. So I asked Jay to take me home so I could tell Snake. Ellie hugged me, told me to call her or Sean if I needed anything and left. Jay and I got in his Civic and drove to my house. We sat outfront looking at the house. It was time.


	7. Being held

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, ect. Hey everyone! Sorry it took so long for the next chapter, I was so blocked. Thanks for all the reviews! Oh, btw, I am throwing in made-up things about Spike and Emma. Also, I put a Gilmore Girls thing in here.

Jay and I sat in the car for almost half an hour before we went in. After a minute of silence he spoke. "If we do keep this baby what should we name it?" I was so busy analyzing the "we" in his sentence that I forgot to answer him. "Em? Emma? Did you hear me?" I answered that I was thinking. "I think if we have a girl I should name it and if it's a boy you should name it but we both have to like it." Jay agreed and we both started thinking about our favorite baby names. I broke the silence and suggested a girl's name. "Angelina Christine." Jay thought about it and said "I like it." I thought about what it would be like to go through with this while Jay thought about boys names. "How about Owen?" he suggested. I said I liked that name. Then he suggested Spike for a middle name and I gave him a look that clearly said NO. "Robert?" I replied that it didn't fit. "Alexander?" I thought about that one for a while. Owen Alexander Hogart. Owen Alexander Nelson. Owen Alexander Nelson-Hogart. Owen Alexander Hogart-Nelson. "I like it." Suddenly there was a knock on the window on my side of the car. My mom gestured to me to open the window. "Snake just called," she said. "He said he'll be home in about ten minutes. Why don't you both come inside for some tea or hot chocolate or something?" We both got out of the car and headed towards the front door.

I was struck by a thought and said "If we decided that the baby doesn't look like an Owen or Angelina then we can decide on a new name right? That would be fine with you?" Jay started to said that it would be fine but my mom interrupted asking if those were the names we picked. We replied that the names we picked so far were Owen Alexander or Angelina Christine. My mom stopped and looked at me and then gave me a hug. "I'll be there for you." She whispered to me. I almost started crying then because Friends was the show we always used to watch together every Thursday night. "When the rain starts to fall?" I replied. "I'll be there for you like I been there before." She promised me. We both wiped our tears away and headed into the house. Inside my mom made us some hot chocolate and we sat down on the couch to wait for my dad. In about five minutes my dad came home and said "Christine? Em? Is someone here? There is an orange Civic outside that looks familiar." My mom called to him that we were in the living room. I suddenly felt sick and whispered to Jay that I was going to throw up and rushed out of the room to the bathroom with Jay right behind me. As I threw up I Jay crouched down on the floor next to me holding my hair back. "Thanks." I whispered weakly as I heard my dad say "JAY? Jayson Hogart is here? Why?" "You're welcome." Jay replied. "Do you feel well enough to tell your dad?" I nodded my head and we headed back into the living room.

We both sat back down on the couch facing my mom and dad. "Emma? Why is Jayson here? Did you have a'reoccurance'?" he fired a million questions at me. "Daddy, please just let me talk. Jay is here because we have something to tell you. Jay and I have been... hooking up... for a while now. This is really hard to say but Dad, I'm pregnant. It's Jay and mine's and we're going to keep it." I started crying and Jay wrapped his arms around me. My dad was silent. "Emma." he sighed. "When your mom got pregnant in high school I felt bad when people didn't support her. I will support you anyway I can. Also, thank you Jayson for accepting the responsibilty and taking care of Emma." "Thank you, Sir." he replied. "Yes, thanks Dad." I added. Jay and I went down to the basement to talk. I put on a CD and then lay down on my bed. "What CD did you put in?" I replied that I had put in a mix CD that I made. Jay was laying next to me and turned to me and asked me what we were going to do. "We already decided to keep it, remember Jay?" Jay rolled his eyes and told me that not what he meant. He sat up suddenly and looked right into my eyes and said "Emma. I meant about US. I think we should move in together." I couldn't speak for a moment. Did this mean that he wanted us to get together or just that we should live together so that he could be there for his baby? I thought for a moment and answered slowly. "Jay, I think we should move in together. I want you to be there for the whole thing. I think we should ask my parents opinion and then if it's cool with them, I'd love to move in with you."

We walked upstairs and told my parents that we had to talk to them again. I explained that Jay and I thought it would be best if we moved in together so that we could both be there for the whole pregnancy and birth. I told them how I wanted Jay to hold my hair back as I threw up. I said that I wanted him to be there for the first time the baby kicks. I wanted him to be the one I woke up at three AM when I had weird food cravings. I wanted him to be there to watch stupid teen drama shows and hand me tissues as I cried because I was so emotional. As I flooded out all of my emotions I heard the CD I left on downstairs and as it played "You and Me" by Lifehouse I looked at Jay and wiped the tears out of my eyes and ended my little speech by saying how I wanted him to be there when I gave birth. My parents hugged me and told me that it would be okay if I went to live at Jay's house if we both would come by every Friday to update them on school, the baby and our life. I looked at Jay and he nodded. We rushed downstairs to do some packing before dinner.

I got Jay to pack up my books as I packed up my clothes. We had been packing for twenty minute when he said that he found a folded note behind one of my books. I hurried over and grabbed it from him. I unfolded it and read it. I handed it to Jay and he read it and laughed. "It's a note I sent to you telling you to meet me in the ravine." I replied that it was and I must have kept it all this time. We looked into each other's eyes and began moving towards each other. Just as our lips were almost touching I heard Jack running around yelling "Emmy! Emmy!" I stepped away from Jay as my little brother came down the stairs. He had woken up from his nap and my mom had told him that I was leaving so he came to say goodbye. I introduced him to Jay and hugged him. The three of us went up for pizza, then Jay and I return to do the rest of my packing. We were done around eight and loaded a lot of my stuff into Jay, my mom and my dad's cars and made a few trips. When everything was transported over to Jay's house I hugged them and told them that I would see them on Friday. Jay let us into the house and gave me a spare key. I put it in my purse and looked around. This was my new home. Jay wordlessly hugged me. We stood there silently surrounded by boxes of my stuff. 


	8. We are not alone!

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, ect. Well I just finished watching "The Breakfast Club" for the fifth time in three days so if I throw something about it in that is why. I don't remember if I said how far along Emma is but I can't find one so I'm just going to make one up. She's about two and half months along. Six and a half to go! Okay, I've decided. I'm definatly going to put a "Breakfast Club" thing in. Okay, not just a 'thing' it's going to have a big part in this chapter.

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"Jay!" I yelled through the house. "What time is it? When do we have to go to my parent's house for dinner? Do we have enough time for me to obsess about Bender? And maybe watch other parts of the movie? What time are we going to leave my parent's house? Can we go shopping after? I wanna do some baby shopping and I also need some new CD's!" Jay came running down the stairs and looked at me in amazement. "A few minutes ago you were all pissed cause I said I was hotter than Bender and now you're all happy! Women! Anyway, to answer your questions: 4:30, 7, maybe, of course, 8:30, maybe, what CD's?" I giggled and told Jay that I didn't get what he said and asked him if he could he repeat it slower. "The time is 4:30 PM, we have to be at your parent's house at 7 PM so we're gonna leave at 6:50 so you have two hours and twenty minutes to obsess about Bender, the movie is about one hour and a half so you will have to do some obsessing in the car but you can watch the whole movie maybe even rewind the dancing scene, maybe we can go shopping after if weren't to tired, I don't know if we can afford CD's right now, we have to save for the baby." I was lying on the couch at the part where Brian is talking about pressure when Jay said he was going to go out for ten minutes. While he was gone Allison explained why she was at Saturday Detention and everyone started dancing. I got up and started dancing along with them. I was also singing along with the "We are not alone!" line and trying to dance like the five characters. I was just doing the sliding railing dance of Bender and Allison when I felt a pain in my stomach. I sunk to the floor crying. I thought that I was losing my baby. Jay and my's baby. "Where is he?" I wondered tearfully. Jay came back in with a small bouquet of flowers. He saw me lying on the ground and ran over to me. "Emma! What happened? Is something wrong with the baby?" I could see that he was frightened and nodded. He picked me up and carried me out to the car. He loaded me into the backseat and jumped into the front. He started the car and started driving. We made it to the hospital and he carried me into the emergency room. A doctor came in and started to help me. Jay said that he was just leaving for a second so that he could call my parents to tell them what was happening and where we were.


	9. Sorry

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, ect. Ok, sorry this took so long! I feel so guilty. I re-named my story! It is now called "My Something." So anyways, 96 reviews! That kicks butt! I am doing a little happy dance now. Ok, I'm done and will start writing. Oh! This chapter will be in Jay's point-of-view. Also, this chapter has some strong language so sorry if you're offended by it!

* * *

I dug a quarter out of pocket and stuck it in the slot on the payphone. I dialed the phone with trembling fingers. _What the fuck was wrong with me?_ The phone rang twice and Emma's mom answered. "Simpson residence." "Umm, Hello, Mrs. Simpson, I need you to come to the hospital, there's something wrong with the baby." _Great job, Jay. Just blurt it out why don't you!_ "Jay? Ok, we'll be there soon. Tell Emma that we love her." We both hung up and I wandered back to the waiting room. There was a vending machine down the hall from the waiting room and I wandered over and dug some more money out of pocket. I looked through my change and picked out a dollar and seventy-five cents. I surveyed my choices and decided on a bag of skittles. I sat down in a hard plastic chair and waited for news on Emma's condition. Emma's mom and dad rushed in carrying a sleeping Jack. "Jay, how is Emma? How's the baby?" Emma's mom was frantic. "I don't know, they haven't told me anything yet. Something about me not being Emma's immediate family." Spike replied "That's ridiculous! You're the baby's father and Emma's... something. " Snake went to inquire at the desk. After conversing for a few minutes with the person at the desk he returned with the news. "They say she's stable and that we can go see her." I breathed a sigh of relief and asked the crucial question. "What about the baby, Mr. Simpson? What did they say about the baby? Did it make it?" He gravely said, "I don't know, Jay." I followed Emma's parents to room 113.

Emma's parent's entered the room before me and I decided to give them a moment before I went in. "Mommy?" Emma said. _She seems so fragile and broken. Fuck, what happened to me?_ I felt so emotional. This wasn't me! I walked down the hallway and grabbed a donut from a tray of free ones and stuffed it into my mouth whole. I returned to Emma's room just in time to hear her say "Don't tell Jay." I entered furious. "Don't tell me what?" I said calmly even though I was seething inside. "Jay." Emma says quietly. "I think we need to talk. Mom, Dad, can we have a moment alone?" Mrs. Simpson kissed Emma's forehead and they both left the room. "What do you need to tell me, Em?" I asked quietly. Emma took a deep breathe as tears welled up in her eyes. "Something happened Jay. I... I lost our baby. It's gone! My baby's gone." She collapsed in tears. I couldn't believe it. "Fuck, Fuck, FUCK. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING AGAIN?" I felt like punching a hole in the wall. _Why would I have to go through this again?_ Emma looked daggers at me. "HAPPENING AGAIN? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HAPPENING AGAIN? HOW MANY OTHER GIRLS HAVE YOU GOTTEN PREGNANT?" "Crap, Emma. Don't fucking yell at me. I tell you what happened IF you calm down." She opened and closed her mouth. I nodded and started to tell the story.

"Two years ago. Two years ago, Alex came to me and she was crying. It was the first time I had ever seen her cry. I had seen her smile, laugh and scream but I had never seen her cry. Not even after her mother's boyfriend of the week had beat up her mother and left Alex to take care of her while he was out boozing it up. She was always just angry, she never cried." I ran my hand through my hair and struggled to keep my emotions in check. "I've never told anyone this story before. Ok, where was I? Alex was crying and I knew something was really wrong. I just held her and she told me she was pregnant. I had no idea what I was going to do. Alex was one and half months pregnant when she miscarried. I will ALWAYS remember that night. We were at her house and I.. I was going to propose. Don't say anything until I'm done." Emma snapped her mouth shut again. "I was going to propose. I got down on one knee and everything. I had my grandmother's ring. I said it. I said, 'Alex will you marry me?' She looked at me and then her eyes went wide. She bent at the waist and looked like she was in pain. I brought her to the hospital but she lost it. She lost our baby just you're losing OUR baby. And it's all my fault. Again. After that Alex and I just started growing apart. We eventually broke up and we both moved on." Shit. I was crying. Emma sat there watching me. "Jay. It wasn't your fault. There was nothing you could do to save Alex's baby. Sometimes those things just happen. But, our baby? Losing our baby was my fault. I should have just rested. So it wasn't your fault. It was mine." Now she was crying. I wiped at my face. "I, I have to go." I said. Emma said "Wait! Jay. I have something to tell you. I'm leaving Degrassi. I'll come to get my stuff tomorrow and then I'm moving. My grandmother lives in Pickering. I'm going to live with her. I can't be around this place any more. There's so many bad memories that I just can't face. So... Goodbye." I was stunned. "Em..." I trailed off. There was nothing I could say. I would get out of this town if there was anyway that I could. "You every gonna come back?" She shrugged. "Who knows what will happen. If I do come back for break or something, will you talk to me?" I smiled and said "Of course."

* * *

THE STORY IS NOT OVER. I REPEAT, THE STORY IS NOT OVER. IT WILL CONTINUE. Well, not that I've got that over with, what does everyone think of this chapter? Poor Jay. He lost both of his un-born children. 


	10. Maniac Monday

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack! Wow, it's been forever! Happy Saint Patrick's Day! Okay, I've decided this chapter takes place three months in the future. Also, I dunno what kind of music Ellie listens to so I just picked a whole bunch of bands I'm into. 

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.

* * *

"Is he asleep?" Jay could hear Sean and Ellie whispering as they drove along the highway towards Sean's hometown of Wasaga Beach. Sean's father had suffered a heart attack so Sean decided to go home so he could work out his family issues, Ellie came along for moral support and Jay just came along for the ride. "I'm awake, because SOMEBODY won't keep the music down." Jay said with his eyes still shut. He sat up and and ran a hand through his hair before placing his hat back on his head. "What is this music?" Ellie sighed and answered, "A mix tape I made. It has Tyler Hilton, Nada Surf, Citizen's Cope, The Bangles, The White Stripes, Carole King, Jack's Mannequin and other bands you probably won't like." Sean laughed while making a right turn. He then said, "Home, Sweet, Home. Welcome to Wasaga Beach. We should probably fill up the car and get some food before we go meet the family." They decided that Sean and Ellie would get gas and Jay would go grab a table at a little diner nearby. Jay entered the diner and looked around.

* * *

"So much for beating the rush." Jay laughed under his breath. A middle aged lady poked her head out of the back and called to Jay. "Have a seat anywhere, Anna will come take your order soon." Jay sat down at a table, leaned back on his chair and closed his eyes. While he had his eyes closed a tall blond, who was currently searching her pockets for her order pad, came over to his table. He opened his eyes and she looked up. "Holy Shit." Jay softly cursed under his breath. "Hello Jay." Jay stared at Anna. "You're going by Anna now? Makes sense I guess. Change all the E's to A's and the M's to N's. So, what..." Jay cut off the end of his sentence as he caught sight of Emma's stomach. "What the fuck? You LIED to me?" Emma reached down to cover her six month pregnant belly. She tried to defend herself. "I had to do this. You didn't love me. This wouldn't work. I did this for you!" "Bullshit, Emma! You did this for yourself! You were afraid of being with me! What are you going to do? Work here for the rest of your life?" "No I was going to give the baby up for adoption and come home to live with my mom and dad!" Emma clapped her hand over her mouth as the words slipped out. Her eyes filled with tears and she turned and fled out the door.

* * *

Jay stared at the door she had just run out and couldn't believe what he had just heard. The door opened again and Sean and Ellie entered. They saw Jay and came and sat down at the table with him. "Have you been drinking Jay? You look terrible!" Jay just looked at them. "Did you not see Emma rushing out of here as fast as her six month pregnant body could take her?" Sean and Ellie gaped at him in disbelief. "Emma? Emma Nelson? Emma The-Former-Mother-Of-Your-Child Nelson? Wait, six months pregnant? Did you...? She lied? Holy crap!" Sean just spewed all of his thoughts out in one sentence. Ellie added her thoughts to the conversations with a question. "What are you going to do?" Jay shook his head. "I don't know. What can I do?" "Jay! What you can do is find her and talk to her! She can explain everything and you can listen and you two can talk about it, CALMLY!" Jay thought about that and decided Ellie was right. He got up from his chair and walked to the kitchen door.

* * *

Soooooo... another chapter done! How many of you guessed that she was still pregnant? And that the "tall blond" was Emma? Also, this chapter was kind of soap opera-ish but that is because I used to watch Days of our Lives and Passions every single day. I officially quit December 31st, 2005. So that is the soap influence. Oh! Just out of curiosity does anyone know who sings the song that I named this chapter after? It's a really good band.


	11. Such A Part Of Me

Wow, I can not believe that I'm posting two days in a row! Soooooooo, first things first. Today is Saturday, March 18th, 2006. Tomorrow is Sunday, March 19th, 2006. Tomorrow one of my favorite singer/actors, Tyler Hilton, will be running the LA Marathon and I totally had to talk about him now. I think that's great. I think I'm done. Okay, here we go! 

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi: The Next Generation or any song mentioned.

Jay walked to the kitchen door and swung it open. The lady who had told him to take a seat looked up at him. "You aren't supposed to be back here, Can I help you?" Jay looked at her and said "Tell me where Emma lives."

The lady stared confused at him. "Emma? Is that what you called Anna? Why do you need to find her?"

"Look, ma'am, if I don't find her I'm afraid that she's going to leave and take my unborn child with her."

The lady raised her eyebrow. "I can't guarantee that she'll want to see you. She told me about you. But, I'll tell you. Walk out this door, take a right, she lives in a blue trailer with a white door on Maple Street."

Jay exited the building through the door she pointed to, forgetting about Sean and Ellie. He took a right and walked down Maple Street looking for the little blue trailer the woman in the diner described. He walked up the front steps and was about to knock on the door but he stopped. He could hear music playing from inside the trailer. He listened closer and recognized the song that was playing. It was one she played a lot during the brief time she had lived with him.

_To make a mountain of your life Is just a choice  
__But I never learned enough To listen to the voice that told me  
Always love… Hate will get you every time  
Always love… Don't wait til the finish line_

_Slow demands come 'round  
Squeeze the air and keep the rest out  
It helps to write it down  
Even if you then cross it out_

_But Always Love… Hate will get you every time  
Always Love…don't wait til the finish line_

_Self-directed lives  
__I want to know what it'd be like to Aim so high above  
Any card that has been dealt you..._

_Always Love… Hate will get you every time  
Always Love… Hate will get you…_

_I've been held back by something Yeah. You said to me quietly on the stairs,  
I've been held back by something Yeah. You said to me quietly on the stairs.  
You said…  
Hey, you good ones.  
Hey, you good ones._

_To make a mountain of your life  
Is just a choice  
But I never learned enough  
To listen to the voice that told me.  
Always love…hate will get you every time  
Always love…hate will get you…_

_I've been held back by something Yeah, You said to me quietly on the stairs,  
I've been held back by something Yeah, You said to me quietly on the stairs  
You said.  
Hey, you good ones  
Hey, you good ones  
Hey, you good ones_

That song ended but the words were still in his head "To make a mountain of your life is just a choice." He and Emma had made mountains of their lives and needed to fix them. Together. He knocked on the door as a new song started.

_Starting now I will never see my kitchen counter quite the same babe,  
After we drank the final hour I never knew you had it somewhere deep inside you,  
Another chance to go wild_

_You whispered to me, I'd be stupid not to follow  
Where you'd be taking me tonight until tomorrow  
I make predictions from the gifts my dreams have given  
And never once have they lied_

_So, don't you worry who you're kissin on at midnight  
The way I see it I've got you and I both covered  
The world's to bed and you and I instead  
Will secretly enjoy our time  
So kiss on me tonight_

_The day awaits too long away when I'll be older  
That holds the time to put in action what I told her  
If I were perfect then there'd be no room for asking to  
Fill this place by my side_

_So, don't you worry who you're kissin on at midnight  
The way I see it I've got you and I both covered  
The world's to bed and you and I instead  
Will secretly enjoy our time_

_See I'm not worried who you're hittin on at midnight  
The way I see it I've got you and I both covered  
__The world's to bed and you and I instead  
Will secretly enjoy our time  
So kiss on me tonight_

_Don't you worry it's time to ask yourself  
But I'll be fine I'll be fine I'll be fine  
If you want to kiss someone else I've got time  
I've got time  
I'll be fine_

_Now don't you worry who you're kissin on at midnight  
The way I see it I've got you and I both covered  
The world's to bed and you and I instead  
Will secretly enjoy our time_

_Now don't you worry who you're kissin on at midnight  
The way I see it I've got you and I both covered  
The world's to bed and you and I instead  
Will secretly enjoy our time  
__Kiss on me tonight, kiss on me tonight  
Kiss on kiss on kiss on me tonight_

He heard the words. "Kiss on me." He didn't think he just kissed her. And she kissed him back.

* * *

Wow, that was a short chapter and most of it was lyrics. I disappoint myself. Okay the first song was "Always Love" by Nada Surf and the second song was "Kiss On Me" by Tyler Hilton. I have to go now though, so that's that!


End file.
